Robot Concierge

We all need a little more RC Pro AM in our lives

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:45:19 +0000

When was the last time you emulated? Can’t remember, can you? Well, it’s time to fire up the emulator at VirtualNES, the online repository of all things 8-bit. All of your favorite Nintendo classics like Double Dribble, Mike Tyson’s Punchout, and Excite Bike are ready for your keyboard-mashing fingers. Double Dragon is more repetitive than you remember and Castlevania still appears to be never-ending. But enjoy a hop back to the 1990’s and that carefree time before the power glove ruined everything.

Need a vacation? Try Underground Ozarks

admin — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:39:05 +0000

Suckers take vacations above the ground. They go to amusement parks or sunny beaches. The real thrill, or place to get away, is below the surface of cities. At Underground Ozarks, you can see pictures and learn how to explore the underground worlds of abandoned sewers, drains, and ghost towns. Here, you can literally journey into the heart of darkness, testing yourself mentally and physically to see if you’re ready for a world that isn’t ready for you.

Doomsday Device Keychain

admin — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:12:05 +0000

Since you’re not built with a self-destruct button, and tequila takes too long to shut down your neural net processor, you should probably invest in a doomsday device keychain. Cyberdyne is a pretty long drive and Joe Morton isn’t going to be around forever. And at $8.99, can you really afford not to own the ability to prevent Judgment Day?

Get a pizza cone in your hand

admin — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:48:28 +0000

You’re in a hurry; but you’re dying for italian food. Any sap can eat a slice of pizza, but you’re no sap. It’s time you wrapped your hands around a pizza cone. The twisted offspring of ice cream and calzones has finally made it to the United States. Does this spell the end for Hot Pockets?

When life gives you a robotic arm, drink juice

admin — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 20:35:29 +0000

So you’re out picking berries, when a bear trap lops off your hand. Don’t be embarrassed, it’s happened to everyone. The good news is that they’ve done a lot with claw technology since the introduction of the Big Choice Machine in the 1980’s. The moral of the story: when life gives you a mechanical robotic arm; drink juice.

Link O’ the Day: How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?

admin — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:21:09 +0000

A robot could likely fight an infinite number of children, assuming they were not a band of tiny robots masquerading as children or android-children designed to fool robots. In that case, the poor robot would likely be overwhelmed before it knew what hit it’s central processor. But you, you’re just one man or lady; and ethics aside, you’ve probably got limitations in a cage-style kiddie match. Rather than risk arrest or ridicule, it’s best that we keep this argument hypothetical. So, go here, and determine your child-fighting prowess. And like five-year-old scotch, the answer will leave a poor taste in your mouth.

Beep Boop, C’mon Robot Play My Movie

admin — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:54:26 +0000

Welcome to Robot Concierge; it’s an exciting time for people and metal folk alike. In this space, you’ll find website, etiquette, and sandwich recommendations- ultimately everything you need to live a satisfying life. So, stay tuned as empty space gives way to more posts and robot-related content. And in the words of Tracy Morgan, “Beep, boop, c’mon robot, play my movie.”